Friday, 16 September 2011

Bouquet!


Update - 20/9/11: Got news today that I'm runner up this week also. I'm really pleased as I enjoyed reading the entries of other participants. You can read my poem below and also read first entry, Lunch Date, here. Thanks to everyone that left comments and words of encouragement. I appreciate you all.

Usually I review the work of other writers on this blog. Perhaps it is time to showcase some of mine and have you review it, dear readers. Here is my offering for the Romantic Friday Writers' challenge this week. My first entry was last week and I was runner up for the top prize! It has done wonders for my confidence - I'm not a confident writer but I do enjoy the writing challenge. Today's topic is Bouquet. I read the challenge prompts and stories of other entrants for inspiration. Francine and L'Aussie's stories were muse inspired points of contact on this occasion.  

Bouquet!

fake promises spill out of your peace offering
only equal in measure to Hyacinth Bucket’s
                                   dripping basket of snobbery
who wants the undeniable scent of a bunch of roses
                     whiff of betrayal to keep me company
                                                   in yesterday's ashes

               I much prefer the kiss of a silent hello
          deafening crescendos of orgasms gone by
            save the hickey-tickles for your floozies
             dousing DKNY flames in their coffins
your message in a bottle is past its sell by date
       so hit it, Mr Lick-it, on the hard shoulder
my silent hello has arrived
check out his car in the drive
now I’ll be a banquet feast of his
prickle-tickle-my-senses-crazy!

©Adura Ojo - 16 September, 2011

19 comments :

  1. I like it, especially the prickle-tickle at the end.

    Try to make up for cheating with a bouquet of flowers - I don't think so!

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  2. Ha, the lack of confidence in your writing does not show. I don't know what you're talking about.

    :D

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  3. You've done it again. I love it. You're certainly getting the knack of writing challenges. Well done.

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  4. Fantastic! Definitely have a lot to be confident about.

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  5. Hi,

    Ha ha, love it! So glad my "silent hello" inspired the genius from within. This is naughty hot. ;)

    best
    F

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  6. This one is sassy, quite full of attitude.

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  7. This had me laughing. Nicely done.

    ......dhole

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  8. Lack of confidence, pwhish! You come through with all guns blazing. Love it! You had me the minute you mentioned Hyacinth Bucket (Bookay!) I love your use of senses which good writing is all about. I could definitely hear you!

    Denise

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  9. You have shown one of the many uses of a bouquet as a kind of language, a message.
    Good use of the theme!

    I wanted to write a poem too, but was not satisfied with any of my attempts. So I wrote a story instead.

    Best wishes,
    Anna

    Anna's 'An Unusual Bouquet' RFWers challenge No 19

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  10. Great use of imagery. An evocative entry. What did Martin Luther King write? "I will not remember the insults of my enemies, but the silence of my friends." Roland

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  11. @ Beverley Diehl
    :) Cheapskate, isn't he?
    Bouquet of flowers and a bottle of DKNY perfume - No sir!

    @ Naked Sha
    :D Thanks, dearie. I owe you an email.

    @ Kiru Taye
    The writing challenges are certainly helping in terms of discipline and focus. The confidence boost is also a plus Thanks.

    @ Amy
    Yay Amy! Now that is one tight review. :) :)

    @ Francine
    Your silent hello went a long way. Think Heineken...it reached the parts my muse could not reach to get the good stuff out, certainly. Thanks for the inspiration and I share your thoughts on 'naughty hot';)

    @ J.L. Campbell
    Yes, it is:)
    I remember thinking that I was writing.

    @ Donna Hole
    Lol. Thanks.

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  12. @ J.L. Campbell
    That was meant to read: "I remember thinking that as I was writing." Sorry about the typo.

    L'Aussie
    Bookay! 'Hearing' is great feedback It means a lot that my writing has that effect. Thank you.

    @ Anna
    It wasn't coming to me at first but I eventually got it together as time went on. At least you had your story to fall back on. Mine was a blank until it came. I find that focusing on the theme and expanding on it through words really helps.

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  13. @ Roland D. Yeomans
    Thank you. I've been getting some positive feedback about my use of imagery. It seems to make my poetry accessible to people who usually do not read poetry. I love your MLK quote.

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  14. Absolutely loved the last line, great poem :O)

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  15. the last stanza grabbed me, the second, not as strong but quite evocative. I enjoyed the real anger from the first best. Happy potluck! :)
    my offering: http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/11/06/the-way-we-sex-adult-supervision-is-advised/

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  16. Hello Adura.
    I was sick in the hospital when you posted this, so this is my first time reading.

    WoW! The imagery is awesome!
    There's a playfulness to your writing, which I love.
    This is written by one oozing heaps of confidence...well done, my friend!

    Thanks for re-sharing.

    Heaven Is You

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