Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Perfect Snow


The joy of cleaning windows is that I
see the dirt you leave behind  
Like your treacherous torso,
a winter of discontent stretches before me
You smile and I bleed unseen blood on snow
peaks of perfectly reconstructed teeth

Between fluorescent smiles of unblemished
brightness, red lips poised to sing:
Merry Christmas darling mine
I am a man with bruised insides and misled toes
‘Pity time does not always announce a
change of plan while you get central heating

in your extremities. Your blue Xmas
offering I watch with new eyes
and a hardened heart. Just don’t
get to the black ice beneath the snow, be careful
Caution left this home of unbridled lust
Sold to Ebenezer scrooge, the reason

love is a four letter word. 

©Adura Ojo - November 29, 2011

Romantic Friday Writers asked for responses to the image in the post. 'Romance turned sour' were the images that came to mind;) Pls pardon my posting early, got my hands full Friday/all weekend:) ‘Shared with OpenLinkNight Week 20 at dVerse Poets Pub.

40 comments :

  1. ooo this is cold...i like the misled toes...the black ice underneath...love is a 4 letter word...tru dat

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  2. ...I am a man with bruised insides and misled toes...what a great line..but then loved that whole stanza extra much..and the ending is cool...true..

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  3. Love it, Adura! Great write.

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  4. Blue and cold Christmas it is.... enjoyed the lovely post ~

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  5. Ouch. Christmas with a chilling punch. Not all so perfect behind the scenes - but the poem itself certainly is. Strong write!

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  6. Trouble in a winter paradise? Your imagery is freaking fabulous! And I must say, the picture is very misleading...you stole the light the painter is known for...it would take a mighty powerful write to do that...and you aced it! Wintry shadows reign!

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  7. Hi Adura! LOVED it. Especially the 'misled toe'. I just came by to remind you that we're kicking off this Friday. No need. I'll link you on Thursday if you like.

    Denise

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  8. Brian: Thanks Brian. It's that time of the year...very cold;)

    Claudia: Thanks, Claudia:) The last line was meant to be in another poem still brewing in my head, but it found its way into this one!

    Ayala: Cheers! Loved yours too.

    Heaven: Thanks, Heaven. I'm gonna have to stop thinking up puns on your name, every time I speak to you in here;)

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  9. Cianphelan: Many thanks for your comment. I hear you just like you heard me too. It's not a pretty Christmas for them no matter what they show on the outside. I guess it's safe to say it's an 'ouch Xmas' for them.

    Natasha: It's not enough that he's got misled toes, had to paint a misleading picture too:) Wintry shadows do reign. Thanks.

    L'Aussie: Thank you so much, Denise. Thanks for linking too. I appreciate it:)

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  10. Hello.
    This strikes me as Christmas gone wrong!
    Love it...excellent imagery.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Thanks also for commenting on A Trembling Flower And You
    The Party poem turned out great too. Thanks for taking part.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Andy.
      Being part of the party poem was a treat:)

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  11. I agree, "I am a man with bruised insides and misled toes" is a great line in a great stanza

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    1. Don't know how that came into my head but I'm loving it too.

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    2. oh...and thanks, theborgpoet:)

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  12. Hello,
    How is your day?

    Glad to land here,
    Amazing poetic muses shared,
    Smiles.

    Welcome joining us for poets rally week 57,
    A random poem or a free verse is okay.
    Hope to see you in.

    Happy Thursday.
    xoxox

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    Replies
    1. Sorry for the belated reply. Just saw this.

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  13. Humor and sorrow, what a surprise and well written. I loved it.
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

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  14. Hi,

    Ooh, dark thoughts brooding yet virgin snow upon the ground, and Xmas cheer not quite as imagined! ;)

    best
    F

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    1. I guess it's fair to say that Xmas cheer was very far from these two, Francine.

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  15. Hauntingly beautiful. Loved it.

    ......dhole

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  16. Replies
    1. Imagery is a very important tool in my writing, I find. Thanks Kerrin, for the positive feedback. It's one thing for me to think that something is important, it's quite another to get feedback that it is appreciated:D

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  17. Unique take on the picture theme - nothing better than a holiday spent with loved ones, nothing worse than spending it with anger and regret as one's only companions.

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  18. Dear Adura,
    First, thank you for your kind words about my picture prompt post.

    Wow, what strong images you have in this Christmas poem. So far from the homey Christmas ideal.

    I love the opening phrase: "The joy of cleaning windows..." Brilliant use of an everyday chore like window-washing to mean buckets about what you see and/or perceive!

    Well done!

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    For the benefit of other readers:
    Anna's RFW challenge No 26 picture prompt

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  19. Hi Adura, I'm back for judging. Just letting you know I've put up a Vote Poll on RFWer so you can have your say this week!

    Denise

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    1. Thanks for letting me know, Denise.

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  20. Brooding and caustic thoughts left from some previous pain wrapped around beautiful images! I really enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading and for the positive feedback, Marsha.

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  21. notice that you won the perfect poet award for poets rally week 57, welcome take it,

    fabulous poetry along the way, truly enjoyed your lasting support.

    keep rocking.
    smiles.

    xoxox

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    1. Thanks TPP, for the award. Really appreciate it.

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  22. hauntingly beautiful ... season's greetings to you.

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